Thoughts of 5AM

Fingers streak through waves of cherry wood color. Again batting away the hair that seemed like haunting words flooding my mind. Indescribable feelings choke down to the one thing that whispers slowly in the background. It's haunting melody continued to drill through to the very core of me.

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you

The steady strum of chorus always the baseline beat as I sit here weaving words to offer some form of understanding to a world that doesn't wanna hear it. Fingers reach beyond me, trying to take hold of memories, glimpses, pieces of you that have been left behind.

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you

But then, we are where we are. We are where we have to be. I would curse God for putting me through this. I would rail at Fate for bringing me here.. but then, it all pauses. Each steady breath reminding me that if it wasn't for God, you wouldn't be here. If it wasn't for Fate, I wouldn't have known you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't smile so genuinely.

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you..

So here I sit, the early hour of the morning reminding me that my life waits for me beyond the veil of sleep. The constant tick fitting in time with the steady breaths I take. Fingers move digits pages like memory books strung together of your face. Times before I even had a clue of who you were, or how slick a thief you might be to steal my heart away. Each turn another smile, another piece of the puzzle I'm trying to hold together in times of prayer. Each letter between us, reminding me...

I loved you before you knew it. I've loved you beyond your faith to show it, I've loved you to the depths of my soul and yours.. I will love you in my waking hours where the piece of you I carry with me as a constant reminder. I will love you through my dreams where I can hold the realest part of you I can see, and I will keep you in my heart... the one you have stolen to keep a piece of me with you, so that one day I might truly be able to hold you and take you in, never wanting to let go.